I have a confession. I used to be one of those girls who had a complicated relationship with other females. I grew up around a big extended family full of feisty females and I went to an all-girl high school, so that may be is 100% why for a long time I couldn’t trust other women. I felt like the world was filled with frenemies, women who smiled in your face and planned your demise behind your back. Don’t get me wrong though, I also wasn’t one of those girls who was hanging with the boys. Oh no, no, no. I was primarily invisible to the male species until well into adulthood. I was simply…alone. For the most part I liked that, I could spend hours sitting in the corner reading, writing and drawing, which was bliss for me (and my parents). But, there was also a part of me that longed for strong female friendships. The kind of complicated, yet solid friendships that I saw on Girlfriends and less the Carrie Bradshaw selfish-in-the-city type of relationships.
Which is why I’m so thankful now for the friendships I have as a grown woman. Like most people, I’m a complex being. It takes me a minute to open up to people and I can count on one hand the friends that truly understand me. I’ll never be one of those girls who has a million friends. I used to think that a group the size of a football team was squad goals, but I’ve learned to love my friends like I love my wine. It’s all about quality over quantity. My girl gang is small and we motivate the f^vk out of each other, and that’s just how I like it. I can say without doubt, that I would not be pushing myself as entrepreneur if it wasn’t for my belief in myself and the belief of my friends. Where family have never quite understood what I do and are constantly telling me to quit, my friends have lifted me higher. Where I’ve allowed boyfriends in the past to make me feel like the light can only be on them, my girlfriends have pushed that light firmly in my direction whether I was ready for it or not. Where I have felt in the past like I’m not enough, like I need to change, contort and twist myself to be something I’m not, my friends have accepted me for who I am. The internal monologue that was willing me to be more bubbly, less of a nerd, less awkward, to stop having a dark sense of humour & (ironically) talk less in my head, used to be on loop. The connection to knowing, accepting and loving myself more and finding my tribe is not lost on me. And for all of that I am grateful.
Girl gangs are the new squad goals and I’m here for it. In 2017 let’s do less pitting women against each other and more lifting each other up. After all, in the words of James Brown and Betty Jean Newsome, “It’s a man’s world, but it wouldn’t be nothing without a women or a girl.”
While we are on the topic of women, check out S.I.R collective‘s SISTA SOUL playlist below for more female fabulousness.