You deserve all the blessings, and here’s why.
Have you ever had the perfect day?
You know the ones where you feel inspired, creative, are around good people with good hearts, the conversation is the perfect balance of deep, thought provoking and plain stupid, the sun is shining with just the slightest hint of a gentle breeze, there is plentiful hummus (yes, hummus) and you’re sipping on that aged dark rum from the islands? Ahhhhh yeah me neither, but I have had damn near close before and for some reason despite only having 15% of this over this weekend I still felt like life was damn great. I have all the odds stacked to say it’s not great, but something in me clicked and I came to the realisation that — as cliche as it sounds — life really is what we make it. I know people who have so many blessings, so many material things, so much good around them but they still are stuck being miserable and petty. When I think about those people I feel better for my own ability to pick myself up, see the good and laugh at my own dark humour 🤷🏽♀️ Why? Because 2017 taught me that. Now, because I care I’m going to share with you 3 things I learnt in 2017 about what we all deserve that will serve me (and YOU) well for 2018 and beyond. Think of this as my– I mean your Monday morning therapy session.
You deserve a seat at the table. I have skills and so do YOU — Like many people women out there, I have many a time been victim to that old gem ‘imposter syndrome’. You know, that voice in your head that says any minute now everyone is going to figure out that you are just winging it you big. fat. fraud! Which would be fine, if you were winging it and were in fact a fraud…Oh but YOU are NOT. You have worked hard, you learnt your shit, you studied, you networked and you laid solid foundations. This means you know your shit and you deserve that job, pay rise, to charge what your services are worth and to be heard. Why oh why do you still feel like you don’t deserve a seat at the table?*
*If you are one of those people who doesn’t question your position then please give yourself a pat on the back and move along to #2 (I’m going to guess you are a man — as men seem to be born with this thought process and I may just dedicate my life to ensuring little girls grow into women who have it too!).
2017 taught me that I sure as hell do deserve a seat at the table and so do you. Oh and guess what, most people at the top are winging it anyway, of course they do know what they are doing and have knowledge to share, but as business is always evolving and shifting we are ALL constantly learning. Nobody has all the answers. You may be bamboozled by a bit of wizardry— ok, it’s not wizardry, it’s actually what I like to call BS squared — bull shit business speak. Instead of saying something in the most simple and logical way, some people phrase a question or report in the most ridiculous way, using unnecessary wording to try to sound important — when you break it down this is just ego talking and every time I’ve pulled some one up on what the hell they actually mean it ends up being the most simple thing. Moral of the story is don’t be thrown by BS squared, just take your seat at the table and get down to business.
You deserve to put yourself first. Ever been called selfish? I know the term has negative connotations and there’s definitely boundaries with this one. But, as parents, lovers, friends, sisters, brothers, daughters, bosses, workers I know we can feel like we need to put everyone else first. I’ve definitely felt the need to make sure I’m not “selfish” and do put others first and the only outcome has been that I’ve spread myself so thin that it has felt like I let everyone down — most of all myself. My dad even told me a year or so ago to stop putting others first as it wasn’t serving me well to keep putting myself at the bottom of the list. Turns out, he was right. Now, I’m not saying screw anyone over in the name of “self love”. But I am saying it’s OK to take time out for you. It’s OK to say no. It’s OK to not drop everything to reply to that email from your boss within 2 minutes. It’s OK to not answer that phone call because you need some time out (ok so that one is just the introvert in me talking). It’s OK to have a night off from the kids and have a date night or night out with your crew. Life is about balance and if you’re giving yourself no time, and you’re at the bottom of the list then guess what…the scales are tipped and it’s not in your favour. 2017 taught me that I need to put myself first, because if I don’t then who will?
You deserve to be happy and you deserve love. I’m not just talking about that romantic kind of love and I’m also not talking about the fluffy idea of happiness or quick shots of faux happiness that comes from material things. I’m talking about that I got your back even when you act like a c*nt kinda love. I’m talking about the right to love. I’m talking about deserving to strive for whatever makes us happy even when others don’t quite understand it. We all have flaws, all of us. Yes, even you and even me. But at the end of the day we all want to be loved, give love and do what makes us happy in this life. Whatever that may be. You deserve it. Well, not if it involves harming others or being a serial killer — then no, get your ass to a psychologist and work through that shit. But otherwise, go and get yours and don’t let ANYONE define what happiness is for you. Not all of us are meant for the 3 car garage, married with 3-peeerrrrrfect-kids-who-are-sooooo-above-average-for-their-age life. Some of us find joy from serving others, some of us want to run our own businesses, some of us find joy from the solo life, some of us enjoy working in the arts, some of use enjoy working in the corporate world, some of us want to be on that nomadic tip and travel the world and gain enlightenment and some of us genuinely want security and to be married with kids. Whatever it is, DO YOU unapologetically. 2017 taught me to embrace what makes me happy and what works for me, even if it’s not the norm or what others think equals love and happiness in their mind.